Amma (my mother in law) was a symbol of patience. Those days, i am talking of 1940s to 1960s, women in India, in particular, were more or less treated like bonded labour That my father-in-law was a lawyer did not make any difference to his outlook.
Amma must be knowing the golden rule. The proverbial rule not unknown to many of us There are things that one can change. There are equally things one can never change. Human ingenuity lies in knowing the difference between the two.
Those days male domination in the domestic environment was at its peak.Equally was the assertiveness of the mother in law, who was ruthless and equally possibly sadistic in her approach to her own daughter in law, a species of her own kind. Not unoften, daughters in law are allowed to eat only at the last, and that too, only what is left behind after everyone had their bellies full. Believe me,in Hindu homes of conventional and traditional orthodox practices, bordering on sheer foolishness the wife ate on the same plantain leaf used by her husband (even without cleaning it) This practice was there even till 1980s, and to cross this lakshman rekha was taboo for every Hindu home.
Amma had an innate courage to hint to her husband ( my father in law) what had happened at home, when he came back from the Court. Her comments were always tinged with sufficient humour apart from irony and wonder. One day my father in law performed the rituals on the death anniversary of his father. We call it Shrardhdha, which means a duty to be done to forefathers with respect. That day, a few Brahmins are to be invited and fed fully, before anyone else takes food. Particular type of dishes are prepared for this ritual. Adhirasam, ell urundai, payasam, payatham paruppu urundai, vadai are a few south indian dishes.
These are very tasty and mostly made of pure ghee and a delight even nowadays.
father in law had probably no time to consume as much as he wanted to as he had an urgent case waiting for his argument in the Court. Probably he had conveyed that he would have it when he came back.
But, alas ! when he came back, the dishes were no more . They had already been swallowed by his mother, i mean, my mother-in-law's mother in law. My mother in law could however not reveal openly that it is the mother in law, his own mother, had swallowed everything. Not she nor their children.
I forgot to tell you that mom was a spontaneous poetess too.Even in her late eighties, she used to compile songs, almost instantaneously. Mostly that was an express of intense emotion. And believe me, all emotions were there, from grief, sadness to fondness, to irony, to humour and to sarcasm.
Those days, the song EPPADI PAADINARO was famous . My mother in law instantly composed a song on the rhythm and sang it , possibly hummed it in slow pace.
You now listen to the conventional EPPADI PAADINAARO first. Later the sarcastic song composed by my mom follows, sung by my husband, who recollects to narrate the event on that day.
Raag Bhimplas. Bombay jayshree.
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